May I
have your attention please?
May
I have your attention please?
Will
the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat,
will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're
gonna have a problem here
Y'all
act like ya never seen a white person before
Jaws
all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And
started whooping her ass worse than before
They
first were divorce, throwin’ her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's
the return of the...
"Ah,
wait, no way, you're kidding,
he just
didn't say what I think he did, did he?"
And
Dr. Dre said...
Nothing
you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!
(Ha-ha!)
Feminist
women love Eminem
"{*Eminem's
vocal turntable*} Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look
at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping
the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah,
I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But
no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes,
I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But
it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My
bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And
if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And
that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And
expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course
they gonna know what intercourse is
By the
time they hit fourth grade
They
got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We
ain't nothing but mammals"
Well,
some of us cannibals
Who
cut other people open like cantaloupes
But
if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then
there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But
if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Women
wave your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes
1- I'm
Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All
you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So
won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please
stand up, please stand up
Cuz
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All
you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So
won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please
stand up, please stand up
Will
Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
Well
I do so "Fuck him and fuck you too!"
You
think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half
of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
"But
Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why?
So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you
can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Shit
Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I
can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And
hear them argue over who she gave head to first
You
little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah,
he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should
download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how
you gave Eminem VD
I'm
sick of you little girl and boy groups
All
you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And
there's a million of us just like me
Who
cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who
dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And
just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Repeat 1
I'm like
a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
Things
you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The
only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front
of y'all and I don't gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just
get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just
shitted better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then
you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's
funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll
be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching
nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And
I’m jerkin’ but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And
every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could
be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in
the parking lot, circling, screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
With
his windows down and his system up
So,
will the real Shady please stand up?
And
put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And
be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And
one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Repeat
1
Repeat
1
Ha ha
Guess
there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck
it, let's all stand up